第一回是民国元年我初到北京的时候，当时一个朋友对我说，北京戏最好，你不去见见世面么？
My initial exposure was during the first year of the Republic, when I first arrived in Beijing.2 A friend said, "Beijing Opera is the best there is.
Why not go and broaden your horizons a bit?”
于是都兴致勃勃的跑到什么园，戏文已经开场了，在外面也早听到冬冬地响。
I rushed zealously off with him to a theatre.Too late to catch the start of it, I could hear the crashing of the gongs as we approached.
我们挨进门，几个红的绿的在我的眼前一闪烁，便又看见戏台下满是许多头，再定神四面看，却见中央也还有几个空座，挤过去要坐时，又有人对我发议论，我因为耳朵已经喤喤响着了，用了心，才听到他是说“有人，不行！”
We squeezed in, the stage in front of us flashing red and green, the audience below it a mass of bobbing heads.
Gazing around us, we caught sight of a couple of empty places, but when we jostled our way over to claim them, someone started arguing with us. 'You can't sit here!” I eventually made out, my ears buzzing with the noise. 'They're taken!”
我们退到后面，一个辫子很光的却来领我们到了侧面，指出一个地位来。
We retreated to the back of the house where an usher with a shiny queue led us off to one side of the theatre and pointed out two places that weren't taken.
这所谓地位者，原来是一条长凳，然而他那坐板比我的上腿要狭到四分之三，他的脚比我的下腿要长过三分之二。
This was a bench only a quarter the width of my thighs, but with legs two-thirds longer than mine.
我先是没有爬上去的勇气，接着便联想到私刑拷打的刑具，不由的毛骨悚然的走出了。?
To begin with I hadn't the courage to get up there.
Then, being reminded of some instrument of torture, with an involuntary shudder I fled.
走了许多路，忽听得我的朋友的声音道，“究竟怎的？”
After putting some distance between me and the theatre, I suddenly heard a voice: 'What on earth's wrong?” '
他很诧异的说，“怎么总是走，不答应？
'Why didn't you answer when I called you?” ' he wanted to know.
”我说，“朋友，对不起，我耳朵只在冬冬喤喤的响，并没有听到你的话。”
"Sorry, but my ears were so deafened with all that boom-boom of the drums and clang-clang of the cymbals.
I didn't even hear you!”
后来我每一想到，便很以为奇怪，似乎这戏太不好，——否则便是我近来在戏台下不适于生存了。
Whenever I thought back on it later, this experience struck me as bordering on the bizarre: that opera must have been singularly bad—the only other explanation would be that I had somehow become "unfitted" for existence in front of stages.3
第二回忘记了那一年，总之是募集湖北水灾捐而谭叫天⑵还没有死。
I've forgotten what year it was when I went the second time, but at any rate it was the year when a benefit performance was staged for the relief of flood victims in Hubei and when Tan Xinpei was still alive.4
捐法是两元钱买一张戏票，可以到第一舞台去看戏，扮演的多是名角，其一就是小叫天。
A donation of two dollars bought you a ticket for a charity opera at Supreme Theatre, performed by a whole galaxy of stars - of which Tan Xinpei was one.
我买了一张票，本是本是对于劝募人聊以塞责的，然而似乎又有好事家乘机对我说了些叫天不可不看的大法要了。
Once I'd bought a ticket, mainly to get the fundraiser to leave me in peace, some other busybody began lecturing me on the unmissable talents of the great Tan.
我于是忘了前几年的冬冬喤喤之灾，竟到第一舞台去了，但大约一半也因为重价购来的宝票，总得使用了才舒服。
Promptly forgetting the aural torments I had suffered last time, I found myself rolling up at Supreme Theatre - though in no small part because I'd spent so much on the blasted ticket that I felt I had to get some kind of value for money.
我打听得叫天出台是迟的，而第一舞台却是新式构造，用不着争座位，便放了心，延宕到九点钟才去，谁料照例，人都满了，连立足也难，我只得挤在远处的人丛中看一个老旦在台上唱。
I learned that Tan Xinpei made his appearance late in the evening, and the Number One Theatre was a modern one where you did not have to fight for your seat.
That reassured me, and I waited till nine o'clock before setting out.
To my surprise, just as before, it was full.There was hardly any standing-room and I had to squeeze into the crowd at the rear to watch an actor singing an old woman's part.
那老旦嘴边插着两个点火的纸捻子，旁边有一个鬼卒，我费尽思量，才疑心他或者是目连⑶的母亲，因为后来又出来了一个和尚。
with two burning paper-twists thrust in her mouth and a devil-soldier standing by her side.
After wracking my brains a bit, I concluded that she must be Mulian's mother, for a monk had just come on as well.5
然而我又不知道那名角是谁，就去问挤小在我的左边的一位胖绅士。
But I still didn't know which star was singing the part.
Standing to one side of me was one chubby representative of the gentry who had been squeezed down to half his original girth by the press of the crowd.
他很看不起似的斜瞥了我一眼，说道，“龚云甫⑷！”
“Gong Yunfu!75 he said, throwing me a withering sidelong glance.
我深愧浅陋而且粗疏，脸上一热，同时脑里也制出了决不再问的定章，于是看小旦唱，看花旦唱，看老生唱，看不知什么角色唱，看一大班人乱打，看两三个人互打，从九点多到十点，从十点到十一点，从十一点到十一点半，从十一点半到十二点，——然而叫天竟还没有来。
1My face burned with shame over my ignorant blunder, and I mentally resolved at all costs to ask no more questions.
Then I watched a heroine and her maid sing, next an old man and some other characters I could not identify.After that, I watched a whole group fight a free-for-all, and after that two or three people fighting together — from after nine till ten, from ten till eleven, from eleven till eleven-thirty, from eleven-thirty till twelve — but still there was no sign of Tan Xinpei.
我向来没有这样忍耐的等待过什么事物，而况这身边的胖绅士的吁吁的喘气，这台上的冬冬皇皇的敲打，红红绿绿的晃荡，加之以十二点，忽而使我省误到在这里不适于生存了。
In my entire life, I'd never before shown such patience in waiting for anything.
It was a patience all the more remarkable when you consider that I had to put up with that chubby representative of the gentry at my side panting for breath all the while.
Up on the stage, reds and greens swayed and rocked while the boom-boom of the drums and the clang-clang of cymbals continued to assault my ears.
On top of all that, it was already midnight.
Everything conspired and pushed me to the verge of a sudden enlightenment: I was not "fitted" to exist in such an environment.
我同时便机械的拧转身子，用力往外只一挤，觉得背后便已满满的，大约那弹性的胖绅士早在我的空处胖开了他的右半身了。
Mechanically I twisted my body around and threw all my strength into working my way back through the crowd.
I could feel the space I had occupied filling in as fast as I vacated it, no doubt a function of the elasticity of my chubby gentry-friend's body, which immediately fattened out to fill whatever space was made available to it.
我后无回路，自然挤而又挤，终于出了大门。
Given that a return to my place was now impossible, there was nothing for it but to push on, until eventually the main exit was mine.
街上除了专等看客的车辆之外，几乎没有什么行人了，大门口却还有十几个人昂着头看戏目，别有一堆人站着并不看什么，我想：他们大概是看散戏之后出来的女人们的，而叫天却还没有来……
Up and down the street, there were hardly any pedestrians, though there were a few cars waiting for the audience to come out.
A group of perhaps a dozen or so people clumped themselves together at the main entrance, their heads raised high as they read the program posted there.
There was another group just standing around not looking at anything. "Probably waiting to gawk at the women who come out after the opera is over," I thought to myself.
然而夜气很清爽，真所谓“沁人心脾”，我在北京遇着这样的好空气，仿佛这是第一遭了。
I felt refreshed, as never before, by the sharp cold air of the Beijing night.