会馆〔２〕里的被遗忘在偏僻里的破屋是这样地寂静和空虚。
How quiet and empty this shabby old room is, in its forgotten corner of the hostel.
时光过得真快，我爱子君，仗着她逃出这寂静和空虚，已经满一年了。
Where has the time gone?
To think that a whole year has passed since I first fell in love with Zijun.
事情又这么不凑巧，我重来时，偏偏空着的又只有这一间屋。
On my return here, as ill luck would have it, this was the only room vacant.
依然是这样的破窗，这样的窗外的半枯的槐树和老紫藤，这样的窗前的方桌，这样的败壁，这样的靠壁的板床。
unchanged in every way: the same broken window, the same moribund locust tree and ancient wisteria, the same square table, the same mildewed wall, the same plank bed pushed against it.
深夜中独自躺在床上，就如我未曾和子君同居以前一般，过去一年中的时光全被消灭，全未有过，我并没有曾经从这破屋子搬出，在吉兆胡同创立了满怀希望的小小的家庭。
At night I lie alone, just as I did before living with Zijun.The past year has been blotted out as if it had never been, as if I had never moved out of this shabby room to set up house, in a small way but with high hopes, in Lucky Lane.
不但如此。
Another thing I now notice.
在一年之前，这寂静和空虚是并不这样的，常常含着期待；期待子君的到来。
A year ago there was a difference in this silence and emptiness for it held expectancy, the expectancy of Zijun's arrival.
在久待的焦躁中，一听到皮鞋的高底尖触着砖路的清响，是怎样地使我骤然生动起来呵！
The tapping of high heels on the brick pavement, cutting into my long, restless waiting, would galvanize me into life.
于是就看见带着笑涡的苍白的圆脸，苍白的瘦的臂膊，布的有条纹的衫子，玄色的裙。
Her round, pale, dimpled face, thin white arms, striped blouse and black skirt would swing into view,
她又带了窗外的半枯的槐树的新叶来，使我看见，还有挂在铁似的老干上的一房一房的紫白的藤花。
She would show me fresh new leaves she had brought in from the withered old locust outside the window, and she would give me some of the lilac-hued wisteria blossoms that hung cluster after cluster from the ironlike trunk of the old tree.
然而现在呢，只有寂静和空虚依旧，子君却决不再来了，而且永远，永远地！……
But now there is only silence and emptiness.
Zijun will never come back — never, never again.
在百无聊赖中，顺手抓过一本书来，科学也好，文学也好，横竖什么都一样；看下去，看下去，忽而自己觉得，已经翻了十多页了，但是毫不记得书上所说的事。
Out of sheer boredom I would pick up a book — science or literature, it was all the same to me — and read on and on till it suddenly dawned on me that I had turned a dozen pages without taking in a word.
只是耳朵却分外地灵，仿佛听到大门外一切往来的履声，从中便有子君的，而且橐橐地逐渐临近，——但是，往往又逐渐渺茫，终于消失在别的步声的杂沓中了。
My sense of hearing, on the other hand, grew increasingly acute.
I could make out quite clearly all the footsteps passing back and forth outside the main gate of the compound; then , amidst the others, there would come the sound of Zijun tap tap tapping ever closer.
But all too often, steps that I had thought were hers would gradually fade until they disappeared into the swell and rhythms of countless others.
我憎恶那不像子君鞋声的穿布底鞋的长班〔３〕的儿子，我憎恶那太像子君鞋声的常常穿着新皮鞋的邻院的搽雪花膏的小东西！
How I hated the son of the local official's factotum, his cloth soles a world away from Zijun's high heels, and the dandy next door, whose leather shoes so often tricked me into hope.
我便要取了帽子去看她，然而她的胞叔就曾经当面骂过我。
I would have snatched up my hat to go out to look for her, were it not for memory of her uncle's wrath.
蓦然，她的鞋声近来了，一步响于一步，迎出去时，却已经走过紫藤棚下，脸上带着微笑的酒窝。
Suddenly the sound of her footsteps began to close in, each louder than the last.
By the time I had gotten up and run out to greet her, she was already passing the wisteria ―her face dimpled into a smile,
她在她叔子的家里大约并未受气；我的心宁帖了，默默地相视片时之后，破屋里便渐渐充满了我的语声，谈家庭专制，谈打破旧习惯，谈男女平等，谈伊孛生，谈泰戈尔，谈雪莱〔４〕……。
a sure sign that she had not been subject to abuse from her uncle.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
Once inside, we silently stared into each other's eyes.
And then, gradually, the room began to fill with the sound of my voice.
I spoke of the despotism of the family system, of destroying old customs, of the equality of the sexes, of Ibsen, of Tagore, of Shelley ...
壁上就钉着一张铜板的雪莱半身像，是从杂志上裁下来的，是他的最美的一张像。
I pointed to a copperplate engraving of Shelley on the wall.
I had clipped it from a magazine because it was the most handsome likeness of the poet I'd been able to find.
当我指给她看时，她却只草草一看，便低了头，似乎不好意思了。
but when I pointed it out to her she only gave it a hasty glance, then hung her head as if in barrassment.
这些地方，子君就大概还未脱尽旧思想的束缚，——我后来也想，倒不如换一张雪莱淹死在海里的记念像或是伊孛生的罢；但也终于没有换，现在是连这一张也不知那里去了。
I feared, at such moments, that Zijun had not yet freed herself of the shackles of tradition; perhaps, I later came to think, a commemorative portrait of Shelley drowning at sea, or of Ibsen, would have been more appropriate.
But I never got round twith the present-day world.
这是我们交际了半年，又谈起她在这里的胞叔和在家的父亲时，她默想了一会之后，分明地，坚决地，沉静地说了出来的话。
Several moments of silent deliberation had preceded this declaration and it was delivered in calm, clear, decisive tones.
We had been seeing each other for half a year at the time, and had just been discussing her uncle―with whom she lived here in the capital ―as well as her father back home.
其时是我已经说尽了我的意见，我的身世，我的缺点，很少隐瞒；她也完全了解的了。
By that time I had told her all my views, all about myself, and what my failings were.
I had hidden very little, and she understood me completely.
这几句话很震动了我的灵魂，此后许多天还在耳中发响，而且说不出的狂喜，知道中国女性，并不如厌世家所说那样的无法可施，在不远的将来，便要看见辉煌的曙色的。
Therefore, when the above declaration came, it stirred me to the depths of my being and continued to echo in my ears for days afterwards.
I was happy beyond words: now I knew that Chinese women were not the helpless, hopeless lot our pessimists would have us believe, and I was confident that a glorious dawn lay on the horizon for them in the not-too-distant future.
送她出门，照例是相离十多步远；照例是那鲇鱼须的老东西的脸又紧帖在脏的窗玻璃上了，连鼻尖都挤成一个小平面；到外院，照例又是明晃晃的玻璃窗里的那小东西的脸，加厚的雪花膏。
As I walked her out to the front gate that day, as usual, we kept a good ten paces apart; as usual, too, the old devil with the catfish moustache held his face so close to his drab and dirty window as we passed his room that the tip of his nose flattened into a pancake; and as usual again, when we reached the outer courtyard, the face of the young fop who was forever plastering himself with vanishing cream appeared behind his bright and sparkling windowpane.