我心里难过，就醒了。
She held me by the hand and asked, "What's up, dear?
病房里有淡淡的灯光，每夜临睡前陪伴我的儿子或者女婿总是把 一盏开着的台灯放在我的床脚。
You're a wreck.""T'm all right," I answered consolingly.
夜并不静，附近通宵施工，似乎在搅 拌混凝土。
Then she wept.
此外我还听见知了的叫声。
And I woke up with grief in my heart.
在数九的冬天哪里来的蝉叫？
The lamplight was dim in my hospital ward.
原来是我的耳鸣。
Every night, my son or son- in-law, who had been allowed to stay in the ward to look after me, would have my bedside lamp on until I fell asleep.
这一夜我儿子值班，他静静地睡在靠墙放的帆布床上。
The quiet of the night was disturbed probably by a noisy cement mixer at a nearby construction a site.
过了好一 阵子，他翻了一个身。
Besides, 1 heard the singing noise of cicadas.
我醒着，我在追寻萧珊的哭声。
But how could there be cicadas in the depth of winter?Ah. it tumed out to be the tingle in my own ears!
耳朵倒叫得更响了。
It was then my son's turn to look after me.
我终于 轻轻地唤出了萧珊的名字："蕴珍"@。
He was sleeping quietly On a camp-bed close to a wall.
我闭上眼睛，房间马上变换了。
Then, after a long while, he turned over in bed. in lay awake, recalling Xiao Shan's weeping sound.
在我们家中，楼下寝室里，她睡在我旁边另一张床上，小声嘱听 我："你有什么委屈，不要瞒我，千万不能吞在肚里啊！"． 在中山医院的病房里，我站在床前，她含泪地望着我说："我不 愿离开你。
Then the ringing my ears became even louder managed to call her quietly by her original name, "Yun Zhen!" Then. when I shut my eyes, the hospital ward suddenly changed. was at home, in my bedroom downstairs.
没有我，谁来照顾你啊？
She was on another bed beside me, whispering her advice to me.
！" 在中山医院的太平间，担架上一个带人形的白布包，我弯下身子 接连拍着，无声地哭唤："蕴珍，我在这里，我在这里" 我用铺盖蒙住脸。
"If you have any grievance, don't keep it from me.
我真想大叫两声。
In no case should you swallow it alone.".
我快要给憋死了。"我到 哪里去找她？
I stood beside her bed in a ward at Zhongshan Hospital. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said.
！"我连声追问自己。
' can't find it in my you.
于是我又回到了华东医院的病 房。
Without me. who is to look after you?"\... heart to leave In the Zhongshan Hospital mortuary, I bent down to repeatedly pat The pen name of the author's late wife. also a writer. who lied during the Cultural Reyolution (1966 1976\) in China. 9\] with my hand a white cloth bag assuming the human shape. uttered silent words tearfully, "Vun Zhen, I'm here.
耳边仍是早已习惯的耳鸣。
I'm here buried my face in a bed sheet.
她离开我十二年了。
How felt like uttering a couple of loud yells to give vent to my agony!
十二年，多么长的日日夜夜！
I was just suffocating.
每次我回到家 门口，眼前就出现一张笑脸，一个亲切的声音向我迎来，可是走进院 子，却只见一些高高矮矮的没有花的绿树。
"Where on earth can I ever find her again?" kept asking myself.
上了台阶，我环顾四周， 她最后一次离家的情景还历历在目：她穿得整整齐齐，有些急躁，有 点伤感，又似乎充满希望，走到门口还回头张望。
Then I was back in my Huadong Hospital, my ears tingling as usual. It's twelve years since she left me.