我想，如果这孩子是我自己，我决不愿来到人间，但父母总 是珍惜自己的小生命，千方百计养育残痪的后代。
That made me sad.
作者对自己的作 品，当会体会到父母对孩子的心情。
What would become of it for life?
学生时代撕毁过大量习作，那 是寻常情况，未必总触动心弦。
Personally, I would have refused to come into this world disabled.
创作中也经常撕毁作品，用调色刀戳 向画布，气烧，痛苦，发泄。
Nevertheless, all parents love their own babies and will do whatever they can to rear them even though they are born disabled.
有时毁掉了不满意的画反而感到舒畅些， 因那无可救药的"成品〞不断在啮咬作者的心魂。
A work of art is to the creator what a baby is to its parents.
当我在深山老林或 边远地处十分艰难的条件下面出了次、废品，真是颓丧之极，但仍用 油布小心翼翼保护着丑陋的画面背回宿处，是病儿啊，即使是瞎子婴 儿也不肯遗弃。
When I was a schoolboy, I used to tear up a lot a of the exercises Idid.
数十年风风雨丽中作了大批画，有心爱的、有带缺陷的、有很不 满意但浸透苦劳的任何一个探索者都走过弯路和岐途，都会留下 许多失败之作，蹩脚货，暴露真实吧，何必遮丑，然而，换了人间， 金钱挖制了人，进而摧毁了良知和人性。
That was a common practice, and I never regretted it.
作品于今有了市价，我以往 送朋友、同学、学生、甚至报刊等等的画不少进入了市场，出现于拍 卖行。
Now am doing the same with my paintings. 1 will often use a palette knife to cut into a canvas so as to let off my pent-up anger or anguish.
五十年代我作了一组井冈山风景画，当时应井冈山管理处的要 求复制了一套赠送作为藏品陈列，后来我翻看手头原作，感到不满 意，便连续烧毁，那都属于探素油画民族化的幼稚阶段，但赠管理处 的那套复制品近来却一件接一件在拍卖行出现。
Sometimes, t will bring me ease of mind to scrap my own substandard Works.
书画赠友人，这本是 我国传统人际关系的美德，往往不看金钱重友情。
Sometimes, I will feel extremely dejected when a painting I have done under hard conditions in remote mountains and dense forests turns out to T be inferior.
艺术作品最终成为商品，这是客观规律，无可非议。
But I will nevertheless carry it home on my shoulder after wrapping it up carefully in a tarpaulin.
但在一时盛 名之下，往往不够艺术价值的劣画也都招摇过市，欺蒙喜爱的收藏 者，被市场上来回倒卖，互相欺骗。
It's my sick baby, my blind baby.
我早下决心要毁掉所有不满意的 作品，不愿谬种流传。
I shouldn't abandon it. produced a great many paintings during the scores of difficult years.
开始屠杀生灵了，屠杀自己的孩子。
Some of them were my favorites, some were defective, some, though unsatistactory, were fruits of my painstaking labor\...
将有遗憾 的次品回一批批，一次次张挂起来审查，一次次淘汰，一次次刀下留 人，一次次重新定案。
All art explorers are liable to take roundabout courses or lead themselves astray, thus ending up in fiascoes.
一次次，一批批毁，画在纸上的，无论墨彩、 水彩、水粉，可撕得粉碎。
Defective works should be exposed rather than covered up.
作在布上的油画只能用剪刀剪，剪成片片。
But things on earth have changed and men are SO much under the sway of money that they have become conscienceless and unfeeling.
作在三合板上的最不好办，需用油画颜料涂盖。
Paintings, nowadays, have market prices.
儿媳和小孙孙陪我整 理，他们帮我展开六尺以上的巨幅一同撕裂时也满怀惋惜之情，但惋 惜不得啊！
Many of my paintings given as presents to friends, schoolmates, students and newspapers and periodicals have found their way to the market or auction house.
我往往教儿媳替我撕，自己确乎也有不忍下手的隐痛。
In the 1950s, after I finished a set of Jinggang Mountain landscape paintings, I donated a replica of it to the Jinggang Mountain Administrative Office at its request for permanent museum display.
画 室里废纸成堆了，于是儿媳和阿姨抱下楼去用火烧，我在面室窗口俯 视院里熊熊之火中飞起的作品的纸灰，也看到许多围观的孩子和邻居 们在交谈，不知他们说些什么。
Later, when I looked over the original set of the paintings, which represented the immature stage of my attempts at nationalizing oil painting, I felt dissatisfied and had it all destroyed by fire.
画室里尚有一批覆盖了五颜六色的三 合板，只能暂时堆到阳台上去，还不知能派什么用场，记得困难时期 我的次品油画是用来盖鸡窝的。
Unexpectedly, however, the replicated paintings recently showed up one after another in an auction house.
生命末日之前，还将大量创作，大量毁灭，愿创作多于毁灭！
Making a gift of painting or calligraphy to friends has been a traditional virtue of ours related to interpersonal relationship, which values affection above material gains.