在那个时候，工作已经不重要了。
But at that moment, work wasn't my priority.
我在思考如何告诉我的家人和朋友，我得了癌症。
I was thinking about how I was going to tell my family and friends that I had cancer.
当我自己都不知道的时候，我该如何回答他们关于情况有多糟糕，以及我是否会好起来的问题。
How I was going to answer their questions about how bad it was and whether I was going to be OK, when I didn't know that myself.
我在想我是否还有机会和我的伴侣组建家庭。
I was wondering if my partner and I would ever have an opportunity to start a family.
同时，我也在思考，如何把这件事情告诉我妈妈，她在怀上我的时候患上了乳腺癌。
And I was figuring out how I was going to tell my mother, who had herself had breast cancer when she was pregnant with me.
她会知道我的感受，也知道接下来我会面对什么。
She would know how I was feeling and have an idea of what lay ahead for me.
但我不想让她分享患癌的经历。
But I also didn't want her to have to relive her cancer experience.
虽然我做好了应对副作用的准备，但真正令我恐惧的是“化疗脑”。
But while I was ready for all the physical side effects, what really scared me was this thing called chemo brain.
化疗脑会造成我的记忆力下降，无法集中精神，解决问题能力的丧失。
Chemo brain presents itself through memory loss, an inability to concentrate and an inability to solve problems.
如果产生了这些副作用，我不知道我该如何继续当一名律师。
And if this happened to me, I wondered how I was going to do my job as a lawyer.
我会被迫辞职吗？
Would I be forced to leave work?
我该如何和我的经理讨论，在我不知道副作用如何影响我时，怎样适当的调整我的工作安排？
And how could I possibly have a discussion with my manager about reasonable adjustments to my working arrangements when I didn't know how I was going to be impacted?
我很幸运，有一个理解我的经理，他很乐意随着事情的发展而做出决定，而不是在事前就做出具体规划。
I was fortunate to have a supportive manager who was happy to see how things went as we went along, rather than requiring a concrete plan up front.
我很幸运，他也许还不知道合理调整的概念，对他来说，这种合理的调整只是一个常识。
I was lucky that while he may not have even known about this concept of reasonable adjustments, to him, it was just common sense.
但我发现，并不是所有人都拥有这种常识。
But I've learned that it's not common sense to everyone.
每个接受治疗的人都会了解治疗的影响以及对他们的限制。
Everyone going through treatment will learn how it impacts them and what their limitations are.
他们会做出相应的调整。
And they'll learn to adjust for that.
对我来说，我学到了关于治疗的小贴士和恢复技巧，比如在化疗之前，你需要补充足够的水分，而且要注意保暖，以便护士能找到你的静脉。
So for me, there were the tips and tricks that I learned about the treatment itself, like, before you go to chemo, you need to make sure you're really well hydrated and that you're warm, because it helps the nurses to find your veins.
在化疗之前和之后，你不能吃你喜欢的食物，因为你会把它吐出来，而且再也不想见它们。
And make sure that you don't eat any of your favorite food, either before or after chemo, because you're going to be throwing that up and you won't ever want to look at it again.
我的印象中，在我治疗期间，他们并不想给我施加额外的工作压力。
I got the impression they didn't want to put any extra pressure on me while I was going through treatment.
虽然我感谢他们的理解，但我确实需要工作的截止日期。
And while I appreciated the sentiment, I actually needed the deadlines.
对我来说，虽然有许多事情我无法控制，但这件事情在我的掌控之中，也是能让我持续掌控的事情。
To me, that was something within my control and something that could stay in my control when there were so many things that couldn't.
但是，如何才能确保人们能够与经理对关于适当的工作调整展开对话，如果一个经理首先回答说，“噢，不，在你身体恢复前不要回来工作。”
But how can we ensure that people are even having a conversation about what reasonable adjustments might look like for them if a manager's first response is to say, "Oh no, don't come back to work until you're better."
有一盏灯为我亮了起来。
And a light went on for me.