穿着黑色带金线的军 服，佩着一柄短短的军刀，骑在很高大的白马上，在海岸边缓辔徐 行的时候，心里只充满了壮美的快感回，几曾想到现在的自己，是这 般的静寂，只拿着一枝笔儿，写她幻想中的情绪呢？
How in those days it used to fill her heart with great pleasure to find herself the very picture of magnificent beauty when, clad in a gold-threaded naval uniform and armed with a sabre at her waist, she a ambled along with a loose rein on a giant of a white horse.
Little knowing that she would some day be reduced to being a solitary writer wielding the pen to depict her dreams and emotions!
她男装到了十岁，十岁以前，她父亲常常带她去参与那军人娱乐 的宴会。
Before that.
Her father would often take her with him when he attended dinner parties arranged for the recreation of servicemen.
朋友们一见都夸奖说，"她英武的一个小军人！
Her father's friends.
The moment they saw her, would praise her by saying, "What a heroic little soldier!
知道毛瑟枪里的机关。
She was familiar with the mechanism of a Mauser.
五六年父亲身畔无意中的训练，真将 她做成很矫健的小军人了。
True, the five to six years of military training she received inadvertently by the side of her father ended up in making a sprightly little soldier of her.
平常女孩子所喜好的事，她却一点都不爱。
And what's more, she didn't share the same likes with ordinary girls.
这也难 怪她，她的四围并没有别的女伴，偶然看见山下经过的几个村里的小 姑娘，穿着大红大绿的衣裳，裹着很小的脚。
Occasionally she caught glimpses of some young country girls, dressed in bright green or red and with bound feet, trudging past below the mountain.
当探海 的电灯射在浩浩无边的大海上，发出一片一片的寒光，灯影下，旗影 下，两排儿沉豪英毅的军官，在剑佩锵锵的声里，整齐严肃的一同举 起杯来，祝中国万岁的时候，这光景，是怎样的使人涌出慷慨的快乐 的眼泪呢？
Things about young females --- how trivial and boring they seemed to her: With the boundless expanse of the ocean gleaming coldly now here and now there under the radiance of the searchlight, steadfast naval officers, standing in two rows under the light and flag, would solemnly raise their glasses in unison to drink to their motherland amidst the rattle of sabres.
她这梦也应当到了醒觉的时候了！
Soon it was about time for her to wake up from the dream!
人生就是一梦么？
After all, life is a dream.
Isn't it?
和 十岁回到故乡去，换上了女孩子的衣服，在姊妹群中，学到了女 儿情性：五色的丝线，是能做成好看的活计的；
After she returned to her native place at the age of ten, she began to dress like a girl and, through associating with her young female relatives, gradually learned the girlish ways of thinking and behaviour.
香的，美丽的花，是 要插在头上的，镜子是妆束完时要照一照的：在众人中间坐着，是要 说些很细膩很温柔的话的，眼泪是时常要落下来的。
For instance.
Silk thread of all colours was fancied for beautiful needlework; fragrant brilliant flowers should be put in the hair for decoration; dressing should be followed by taking a look in a mirror; when sitting among a crowd, a girl should speak in a soft and delicate tone: she should be lachrymose and normally somewhat petulant like a pampered child.
这也是很新颖，很能造就她的环境--但她父亲送给她的一把佩 刀，还长日挂在窗前。
But the sabre, given her by her father, was still hanging by her window.
白马呵， 海岸呵，荷枪的车人呵⋯⋯模糊中有无穷的怅們。
Ah.
The white horse.
The seashore, the soldiers carrying rifles on their shoulders ...
How the vague memories would bring her infinite anxiety and sadness!
姊妹们在窗外唤 她，她也不出去了。
When her young female relatives called to her from outside the window, she would re fuse to leave her room.
站了半天，只掉下几点无聊的眼泪。
She would instead stand inside for hours, nostalgic tears trickling down in drops.
她后悔么？
Was she overcome with regret?
也许是，但有谁知道呢！
Maybe, but who knows!
军人的生活，是怎样的造就 了她的性情啊！
How the military life had shaped her disposition: How rhythmical and plaintive the bugle sounded from the barracks at twilight!
世界上软款温柔的境地，难道只有女孩儿可以占有么？
Were tender feelings and soft passions exclusive to young girls?
海上的月夜， 星夜，眺台独立倚枪翘首的时候：沉沉的天幕下，人静了，海也浓睡 了，--"海天以外的家！
Imagine on a starry night on the moonlit a sea, a lone soldier On duty at the watch tower, gun in hand and head up. 09 55 And all was quiet under the dark sky and the sea was sound asleep. "Home beyond the sea and sky!" At a moment like this, the poet and the soldier in her would co-exist like two spectacular strands of silk twisted together!
除了几点无聊的英雄泪，还有什么？
What else could she do except weep a few futile heroic tears?
但与其说她是 喜欢看，喜欢听，不如说她是怕看，怕听罢。
Nay, that's not what she is so much fond as afraid of watching.
横刀跃马，和执笔沉思的她，原都是一个人，然而时代将这些事 隔开了⋯ 童年！
Only time has made all the difference Childhood!