荷西听我说起这件事情，也曾好奇地问过我，---"你会做些什 当时，我正在揉面，我举起了沾着白粉的手，温和地摸摸他的头 发，慢慢地说："傻子，我不会死的，因为还得给你做饺子呢！
Hexi\, learning of it from me, asked with curiosity, " What would you do?" was then kneading dough.
" 虽然预知死亡是我喜欢的一种生命结束的方式，可是我仍然不能 死，在这个世界上有三个与我个人存亡牢牢相连的人"。
Three persons in this world have their fate so closely tied with my life and death.
让我父母在渐人高年时失去爱女，那么他们一生的幸福和慰藉， 会因为这一件事情完全崩溃，这样尖锐的打击不可以由他们来承受， 那是过分残酷也过分不公平了。
The loss of their beloved daughter would deprive my ageing parents of their life-long happiness and consolation.
要荷西半途折翼，失去他相依为命的爱妻，那么在他日后的心灵 上会有什么样的伤痕，什么样的烙印？
If Hexi should lose his beloved wife, with whom he had been living for interdependence, what an emotional trauma he would undergo!
这些，又一些，因我的死亡而将使父母及丈夫所遭受到的大劫 难，每想起来，便是不忍，不忍，不忍又不忍。
I cannot bear to think of the great adversity to be brought on my parents and husband by my death.
所以，我几乎没有选择地做了暂时的不死鸟，我的羽毛虽然因为 荷西的先去，已经完全脱落，无力再飞，可是那颗碎掉的心，仍是父 母的珍宝。
Though I can't fly any more, having lost all my feathers due to Hexi's death, broken heart is still treasured by my parents.
再痛，再伤，他们也不肯我死去，我也不忍放掉他们啊。
They just won't let me despite my spiritual agony and wound.
总有那么一天，在金色的彼岸，会有六只爱的手臂张开了在迎我 进人永生，那时，我方肯含笑狂奔而去了。
The day will surely come when six loving open arms on the other golden bank will welcome me to eternity.
这份文字本是为着另一个题目写的，可是我拒绝了只有一月寿命 的假想，生的艰难，尘世的苦，死别时一刹的碎心又碎心，还是由我 一个人来承担吧。
The trials tribulations of living, the sufferings of mortal life, the acute sorrow parting for good ---let me bear all that alone.
父亲，母亲，荷西，我的亲人，我爱你们胜于自己的生命，那么 我便护着你们的幸福，不轻言消失吧！
Dad, Mom and Hexi, my dear ones, 1 love you more than I do myself.